First Comes Love with Lisa

       This week I traveled to Utah to celebrate my friends K and D’s wedding, only fate was a wee bit against us. Halfway between home and Utah, T and I heard a loud scraping noise. I jumped out of the car, and my heart sank. Our tires were dead. T immediately started cursing and worrying about paying for new tires and calling roadside services, just as I immediately started worrying about T’s mood and staying calm. Isn't it interesting how differently the two of us responded to the same citation? My number one priority was T, and his number one priority was our safety. From flat tires to whatever else the family brings to the table, men and women have separate priorities and reactions to any citation. Isn't it fascinating to think about the ways we are different and how that difference makes us stronger together?       I want to start by saying this post will focus on the positives of Straight Heterosexual families. I am a loving ally to the...

       As a theater major, I find lessons and stories in every play I read, popular or unpopular. Today, I bring this up because I want to talk about a rather famous musical and its most popular song. Fiddler on the Roof is set in early 1900s Russia, just before the Jews were cast out of the country. It takes place in a small Jewish community filled with less prosperous characters, the focus being the father and head of the main family's household, Tevye. One day, as he is doing his daily chores, he sings the show's most well-known song, “If I Were a Rich Man.” Through the song and the monologue that leads into it, he asks God why he was born poor, why can't he be a rich man, and what he would do if he had been born wealthy: “Lord, who made the lion and the lamb, You decreed I should be what I am; Would it spoil some vast eternal plan, If I were a wealthy man?” — Lyrics by Sheldon Harnick (1964)      Do we not all ask these questions at one point o...

     In my younger adolescent years, my mom was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. Slowly, we began to develop unwritten rules about what we could and could not say, such as "Why doesn't Mom go hiking with us anymore?" "Why is Mom too tired to play with us?" and the biggest one, no one, not even the youngest kids, ever mentioned, "Why doesn't Mom do as many chores as we do?". Not every family will have something like a disease to blame for its unwritten rules, but we all have them: assigned seats at the dinner table, spots in the car, games whose rules need not be written, and countless others. These rules often pop up in every  Family System , whether we realize it or not, so what happens when we get married and these unwritten rules are broken? More on that later.  Family Systems explains the connections families share, other than the legal definition of family. It describes the love we share, the structures we develop (Marriage & Famili...

Over the past week, my mind has been focused on one of my best friends in the world, K, who is getting married next week! As I write about newlyweds and the reasons it's worth it to stay, I can't help but think about her and her husband D, and the difficult first year they have ahead of them .   Luckily, my mind has not been all consumed by wedding bells this week, I have also had the opportunity to study the scientific method and research in genera l! When we take advice, there are multiple factors we should truly consider. As we take advise from others, we need to take everything they say with a grain of salt, your parents, family members, field experts, peers, social media, books, movies, bloggers, and influencers often rely on their own personal experience and bias’s witch although valuable may not always apply to your family's needs. It is important to seek advice from our loved ones, but it is just as crucial to read books and articles that come from credible ...