Young Parents and Problems

 

    Before I got married, I only thought about two things: one, I was in love, and two, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with T. I didn’t realize how much marriage would change me, or how much I would grow through it. As we approach our two-year anniversary, I’ve been reflecting—not only on our relationship but also on the idea of parenting. We're not ready for children yet, but this week’s research helped me reflect more deeply on my childhood and what parenting really means. 

    Both of our parents had children either just before or shortly after getting married. Neither had much time to enjoy married life before jumping into parenthood. I do want children, but I also recognize that right now isn’t the right time. Looking back, I truly understand what people mean when they say, “your parents grew up with you.” Because our parents had us young—T was born before his parents graduated high school, and my sister Michelle was born when my mom was twenty—we were raised by people still figuring out adulthood. 

    Young parents often face unique challenges, especially financial ones. My parents didn’t buy a house until I graduated high school. They had trouble selling a second home they’d bought, so we lived in rentals for years—places with little to no backyard and very little room. But those limitations led to something beautiful: a life full of adventure. Every Saturday, my family would hike or explore local parks. I may not have had a “forever home,” but I had Ogden Canyon, and that’s something I’ll never forget. 

    The world often tells us that happiness comes from financial comfort—that money can take away problems. But Life With Kids Is Better pushes back against the idea that parenting reduces happiness. In fact, it suggests that with community, faith, and meaning, parenting can actually increase well-being. My family didn’t have much, but I never felt poor in the ways that really mattered. We laughed, learned, and built lasting memories. I didn’t need wealth to feel loved and secure. 

    My parents weren’t always great with money, but they gave me what mattered most. With every move came a new “clean check” and a chance to start over. Through hikes, movie nights, and creative solutions, I learned that relationships and resilience matter far more than stuff. My dad once told me he felt like a failure for not giving us a permanent home earlier. But I never saw it that way. Even with instability, we built something strong—something I now recognize as a real home. 

    Reading The Collapse of Parenting this week gave me even more appreciation for my upbringing. In today’s world, many parents are afraid to say “no” or to act as authority figures. My parents weren’t perfect, but they stayed involved. They didn’t try to be our best friends—they tried to raise us to be responsible and kind. I also thought about the video Is Your Child Getting Enough Vitamin N? and how important it is for parents to say “no” lovingly. That kind of structure and guidance helped shape me. 

    The article The Destructive Myth of Professional Parenting reminded me that good parenting isn’t about doing everything “right” or following every trend. It’s about being present. My parents didn’t have the time or money to micromanage every moment of our childhoods, and I’m glad they didn’t. We had freedom to explore, to mess up, to grow. That freedom, combined with love and limits, helped me become who I am. 

    As I think about becoming a parent one day, I don’t want to be driven by fear or perfectionism. I want to give my children what I had: a sense of safety, wonder, and connection. I want them to know that it’s okay to grow alongside your parents. My childhood wasn’t defined by expensive things or picture-perfect moments—it was defined by love, effort, and the kind of joy that comes from simple things. That’s the kind of parenting I hope to offer when the time is right. 

( Older Sister Michelle and I playing Horsey Horsey with YOUNG dad, Photo Taken when we moved out of our childhood home and into our first rental place )