Transition Periods of Power
Every New Year, anniversary, and birthday, we make goals. Starting now, I am going to lose weight. Starting now, we are going to do different chores. Starting now, I am going to follow a budget. Starting now, I am going to do things differently. These are called transition periods. Through life and marriage, we will have dates like those discussed before, but transition periods can also be events like weddings, babies, moving, new jobs, etc.
All forms of transition periods provide a unique opportunity in our lives. Often, during these transition periods, it becomes easier to change habits in our lives like those mentioned in my opening paragraph. Using these transition periods to their advantage can have a positive effect on your life, but it can also accidentally create BAD habits, and that's where marriage comes in.
When we get married, we can create a new lifestyle and atmosphere as a couple; the first few months will be filled with new opportunities and habits, some good and some bad. To fight our negative habits formed in these transition periods, couples should frequently discuss their lives and habits, and how chores are divided. How do we want to perform certain tasks? How should we pursue these opportunities? How do we need to budget? Frequently discussing as a couple will help fight against bad habits and form new ones. It may feel easier to change habits during a traditional transition period, but through hard work and discussions, we can create our transition periods.
My blog has an emphasis on newlywed couples before they have children, but I know that someday I will likely have children, as will you. So, for the rest of today, we shall discuss the transition period I've yet to experience myself in two years of marriage and children. Some babies will bind a couple together, and others will tear them apart. It is not the child's fault, but rather the preparation of the parents; Thus, I want to discuss those discussions we should all be having now before we ever get pregnant.
With children, the entire family system is turned on its head; rather than focusing entirely on one another and your relationship, your life now revolves around a small child brought to life through a miracle. Angels will be with you in the early days, as will family and friends, but it will still be difficult. Women often feel as if their husbands do not take on as much responsibility as they do when a child is born, and men often feel like their wives love them less due to their attention being divided. These, among other reasons, are why so many couples do not make it, whether splitting immediately or simply planting seeds of doubt that will grow larger later. Additionally, all problems a couple has had before children will be amplified. Financial burdens will be made larger, chores will become even more difficult while caring for children, and couples who once forgot to go on dates will now find it impossible to spend time alone together.
Women will often stay home and be with the children as their husbands spend their days at work; each will face very different challenges, and when they get home every day, they do not fully understand what the other has been through. Men will want to relax, and women will want help. In the end, whether it is the transition into marriage, the arrival of children, or any of life’s other milestones, the key to navigating these changes successfully lies in ongoing communication, mutual support, and intentional habit-building. Transition periods provide us with an opportunity to reset and redefine our routines, but they also require us to be mindful of the new challenges they bring. When we become proactive about discussing our needs, expectations, and fears as a couple, whether we are newlyweds or parents-to-be, we create a strong foundation that will help us weather any storm life throws our way.
Having children is one of life’s greatest transitions, and while it can create both joy and challenges, it is not an experience we should face alone. By preparing together, discussing our roles, responsibilities, and hopes for the future, we can ensure that our marriage does not just survive this next chapter, but thrives. The changes children bring are inevitable, but how we respond to them, together, is what will determine our success as partners and as parents. So, let us start today. Let us talk openly, listen deeply, and prepare for the beautiful chaos ahead, knowing that, with intention and love, we can handle whatever comes our way.
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