Finances and Frustrations

   

 

    I have wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember—long before I even knew my husband, T. The desire has always burned quietly inside me. At the same time, I am equally passionate about becoming a Prop Maker. I want to pursue my creative dreams and remain in the magical world of theater for the rest of my life. This April, I will graduate from college, and I’ll be faced with a decision that feels as heavy as it is life-changing: do I begin the job hunt, or do I stop taking birth control? 

T and I have been praying deeply about it, but I can’t help feeling afraid of the answer. I don't want being a mom to become my entire identity. I look at parks and birthday parties and sometimes see a future where I’m confined by four walls, feeling isolated for the next decade. 

Like many others, I fear that full-time homemaking might dull my mind. But something in me says it will be okay. Even now, as a college student, I challenge myself to stay intellectually engaged by exploring content beyond my major—like the podcast This American Life. These small efforts help me stay alert and curious, and I believe they’ll continue to help, even in motherhood. 

Yet beyond the emotional and personal fears, one of the most practical and pressing challenges is financial. Many couples grow used to living on two incomes—one for rent or mortgage, the other for everything else. The thought of adding another mouth to feed while simultaneously dropping an income is enough to make any couple anxious. But I believe it’s possible to navigate this with intention. 

The first step toward financial preparedness is taking inventory: understanding exactly what we earn and what we spend. Money may just be numbers on a screen, but those numbers have power. They can shape the direction of your future. I once spent over a thousand dollars in one semester on vending machines alone. Many people have forgotten subscriptions, underestimated takeout costs, or other small expenses that add up. Simply tracking spending can save a household up to 20% of its income. 

The second step is to seek professional advice. While friends and relatives are full of financial opinions, a certified financial advisor brings expertise and objectivity. They’ll offer the tough love and clear strategy that friends might sugarcoat. Step three is to act quickly. Making gradual changes to your financial habits may seem safer, but if done too slowly, it’s easy to dig yourself deeper into a hole. Big shifts sometimes require bold decisions. 

Finally, and perhaps most painfully, step four: make a budget—and use it. Losing one income will change our lifestyle completely. We’ll need a clear plan, and more importantly, we’ll need to follow it. With fewer resources, more of our energy and money will go toward survival, not comfort. That’s a hard reality. But then again, the thought of tiny hands wrapped around mine makes the sacrifice feel worth it. 

I may not know exactly when or how the next chapter of my life will unfold, but I know it will require both courage and clarity. Whether I begin my career as a Prop Maker or embrace the role of stay-at-home mother, or even find a way to do both, the foundation must be thoughtful planning, open-hearted faith, and a willingness to adapt. Motherhood doesn’t have to mean losing myself—it can mean expanding who I am. And with love, determination, and some discipline around money, I believe it’s possible to build a life that holds both dreams and diapers, both magic and meaning. 

 ( T and I suted up for prop making, Jack O lanterns made for a show at univeristy )